Sometimes I wonder...

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?

Why do they have ear piercing while you wait? Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick them up later?

Why do we always want to grow up when we're young and be younger when we're old?

Why do some displays of "I love you only" Valentine cards sell them in multi-packs?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

What sees a blind man when he's dreaming?

Adam and Eve were the first people on earth.... Did they have belly buttons?

A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

Are unripened oranges called greens?

A wise old owl sat on an oak,
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard;
Why aren't we like that wise old bird?

(Edward H. Richards)

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Can it be a mistake that "desserts" gives "stressed" spelled backwards?

Could your eyes be called an academy, because there are pupils there?

Crime doesn't pay. . .does that mean that my job is a crime?

Did Noah include termites on the ark?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?

Do fish get thirsty?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Do penguins have knees?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How do you dial a pushbutton phone?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How can one TV station have the "exclusive" accurate weather? Did they "storm" in and scoop the others?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I've only been driving for 10 minutes?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

If a brown cow eats green grass why is it's milk white?

If a giraffe had a sore throat, how many lozenges would it need to make it better?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If a man with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, would it be considered a hostage situation?

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? (S. J. Lec)

If a person told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them?

If a turtle does not have a shell on, is he homeless or naked?

If a vegetarian is someone who eats vegetables, what does that make a humanitarian?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If beef comes from a cow and ham from a pig, why do they put beef in hamburgers?

If corn oil comes from corn....where does baby oil come from? (Richard Lederer)

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

If helium existed in a solid form, and you ate it would you get heavier or lighter?

If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

If love is blind, is lingerie considered Braille?

If nothing sticks to Teflon how do they stick Teflon to the pan?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? (Richard Lederer)

If someone were to pay you ten cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect five cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

If stores claim to be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, why do they have locks on the doors?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent?

If there's so much laborsaving machinery, why don't I have more free time?

If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?

If the world is spinning so quickly why don't we all get dizzy?